By Farhana Islam Mahi:
Old homes are where elderly people reside and apparently, the concept seems like it is a useful thing. But there are so many heart-breaking stories related to these old people homes which lead to frustration for anyone who comes across these stories. The residents of these old peoples’ home are the parents of those who do not have a time to look after their parents or their house is short of space to accommodate the parents. Sadly, in most of the cases the house where these old parents cannot find spaces to live were actually given to their children who now are reluctant to accommodate their parents when they are old. The majority of the elderly parents from European countries and United States of America spend their last days of life in the gloomy environment of old people homes. Unfortunately, this idea of old people homes has its roots in the countries where elderly people are regarded as an integral part of the household.
Old people homes is the last resort for the neglected old people. The old homes have all the arrangements for the elderly people to pass the last days of their lives with dignity and honor. Despite all the comfort and facilities, these elderly people lack the presence of their families. In their old age, a person may wish to live with their children and grandchildren. They may wish to share their feelings with them. After a long busy life, when in old age, this may be their only expectation from their children. However, the elderly people pass the last days of their lives without their families with heavy heart and acute mental affliction. But their children are not the ones to be blamed for this. These elderly people are also responsible for this situation.
All parents want is a better and secure future for their children. They always try to be ideal parents for their children. They want their children to be raised as an ideal child. But sometimes parents neglect their children which has a bad impact on the children. Childhood has great influence in the life of a man or woman. At that time, a child gets influence from his/her surroundings besides his/her formal education. Therefore, an ideal childhood is necessary for an ideal upbringing. In their childhood, parents should not leave their children alone as this may create destructive behavior in their children.
Life is so busy these days and it is very hard for the parents to spare time for their children. But it is advisable for the parents to spare time for their children as best as they can.
Both a father and a mother can divide their time, which shall be given to their children, as they think convenient. When a mother is busy, the father should attend his child and when a father is busy or shows rudeness to his child, the mother should comfort the child. A child should not feel helpless. Parents should give due attention so that the child should have a feeling that he is loved and respected. Love and affection between the parents brings peace in the house but a negative environment in the house may lead to depression, which negatively influence the personality of a child. For bailout, a child may take refuge in bad things. A child should not be criticized or mistreated before others. Parents should attentively listen to their children. Parents should listen to their children about their friends and the matter of their interests. This will consequently create in children deep respect for their parents. Firmness of character and morality are the greatest virtues of a person. A child learns morality from his/her family. Family education plays an important role in differentiating between the good and bad. Parents have to play a greater role in this regard. So, the parents should be morally strong. Parents are always an ideal model and hero for their children. If a child sees that his ideal person is corrupted or dishonest, he/she may adopt a wrong way in sorting things.
Besides moral education, parents should also give proper religious teachings to their children. The life of a person can be enlightened with religious knowledge. But parents should be careful that their children should not resort to the way of extremism. If a child does not receive true religious education, he/she may be misguided and can be a tool for those having extreme religious thoughts. This is dangerous for the family and for the society.
A child should be given the environment of healthy entertainment. Parents should not try to satisfy their children by providing only the modern electronic gadgets like laptop and smart phones etc. They should rather be given the opportunity to think creatively. They should be motivated to be interested in books reading and other healthy ways of entertainment. A child should be provided the opportunity to engage in sports. Sports is not only helpful to physical growth, but it also works as a tonic to mental growth. Sports plays important role in building the personality of a child. In sports, a child learns to work in groups, to make decision in consultation with others, to solve the problem together and how to lead a group of individuals. Sports broadens a child’s imagination. They learn how to mix up with others. But this should be monitored by the parents to see if the child is not going towards a wrong direction.
They should be taught to respect all irrespective of age, wealth, race and religion. A child should be minded by the parents about his/her faults. Punishment is not always the remedy. Convincing is more effective than punishment. A child should be discouraged about wrongdoing. If a child is discouraged to do wrong since their childhood, there are very rare chances of them being spoiled. A child should not be neglected by their parents. At the same time, they should not be compared with other children of his age. Such acts may cause inferiority complex in their mind. Indeed, a child has his personal entity and parents should respect it. What kind of respect the parents expect from their child should be defined by what kind of respect they give to their child. A child should not be made afraid of anything. Rather, if they falls into any difficulty, their parents should help them. Besides, parents should encourage their child in their little successes. They should be motivated to do good deeds. If necessary, they should be encouraged by giving little rewards. Such gestures can pave the way of bigger success in future of their child. If parents can guide their children properly, they will be able to contribute in the betterment of the society and the state. It can be undoubtedly said that an ideal child will certainly perform their duties towards their parents. He/she thus will take care of their parents in their old age the way once the parents looked after their children when they were helpless.
Farhana Islam Mahi: Grew up in Sylhet, Bangladesh. Currently live in Maidenhead, UK. Graduated from University of West London, and at present working in a charity organisation while studying part time in ACCA.