When some UK people are showing phobia symptoms of disliking Islam, what is said to be islamophobia, already by then I have devastatingly broken down, destructed, my huge and vast andurance capacity smashed down, crushed up to minuet atomic dust pieces, my tolerance and it’s engine mechanism blown off, and made to clasp down by Pakistani people in this region, in Solihull. All started from SMCA Sunday School.
All began with; I am being a mother of an infant age child, a male Child. I, having a faith, and faith that what I inherited I say. My faith Islam is inherited I am saying because, being born in a Muslim family, the culture and custom is naturally, systematically in place.
Culture and custom made as such, I had teaching of Islam and Quran and the talk, discussions and Rituals all together forms the psychology of being. The values I approved into my inner self, the doctrines I took on and prioritised as important factor of life.
Raised in Muslim family, the family was interlaced in mainstream Bengladeshi Muslim community, and the Islamic practice has been the norm.
Furthermore, my father was regular and well into practice and engaged as prominency of Bengali Muslim association group and regular Mosque attending. Therefore, it was norm and part of his mixing and mingle with Scholarly Muslim Kind and bringing to home. Therefore, I being the daughter, child of the Father, was directly and largely influenced by their religions topic discussion. I grew up with love of Islam.
Practicing Islam grew up and had education in London. Themn married off. It was an arrange marriage, though, Mr Miah was keenly eager to marry me. His upbringing was different, in under privilege, uncared, unguided and for circumstancial atmosphere, Mr Miah wasn’t taught Islam and neither he was on the path of Islam. Wasn’t unusual for that era for UK Asian.
Marriage took place. Mr Miah stood firm to his decision of marrying me, My family was made compel and I give into his emotion. Mr Miah decided he will act nice, in making and maintaining family and he was aware of his shortfalls. Due to his short falls, absences of value or lackings in symple term his lackings, it often Caused negativity and poured onto us, the family.
Then Mr Miahs desire to be parent I gave into it and Allah gifted us two lovely, wonferful sons and the parenting responsibility happily and voluntarily Mr Miah designated on me being aware of his lackings. My little angel the 1st nurtured and his innocent assences the soothing comforts, love and blossoms oggan jolly nature to his father. The purest wealth of heaven of the toddler, infant and the junior age boy, was the greatest ever wealth to the Father. Both sons loved their father and lived with antiipation and understanding.
Back to Solihull Muslims. Being a responsible patent, and Muslim my duty and concern was to guide my son in the path of Islam. I knew and I have been saying the cost of Inam is high, the gate of Jannah isn’t cheap, the bill on the invoice surely be large and the instalments will be struggle for sure. And My little angel a toddler had high spirituality deep in him. He loved Allah the creator and he loved all the prophets, and more importantly he adored Prophet Mohammed PBUH and still does.
I was looked out for the source of teaching path ways for him with system, the proper teaching.
Boys I believed needed role model to grow into his own man to world. 2nd child was planned and being born another son. So, both will needed teachings and guidance. I believed Allah will lead in the guidance. Mr Miah agreed to get them right teaching as I thought about because I prioritise them.
Here, Solihull SMCA.
In 1st instanced saw large group Pakistani versus small grouo Arab versus one Bangali women. battle there. I got my angel and me fell into their conflict, tortures and suffering began. Its very deceptive and misleading, self deception is to take on ill mannerism tolerating calling sabr the patienice, and test the Fitna. I kept crying every Sunday, it was test for ‘audacity of hope’ going to work for iman. Pakistani men and worse the women all Saitan plainly liers All living saitan beyond level devil I saw there. Arab women are sick mental, egoistic.
I am phobic now, living with phobia. Khauf. Please don’t axpect me to belief Pakistani women can be pure Islamic Allah and Islam following. Oh, there are Bengali swing from one extreme of not being Islamic to Pakistani doth protest too much type but master into harrassing powerfully. Pakistani haram practising, disgraceful nature is venomous, and they pass on with Power.
Iman rooted in to my being, Allahs existance even in my unconsciously deep thought. Iman and khauf parallel now.