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Highs and lows of a weekend fling

25The much awaited weekend is here and you’ve decided to go on a well deserved break. You feel physically relaxed and emotionally renewed, you are away from your daily routine and the stresses and strains of home and work – basically, you are ready to fall in love.But, is a weekend fling a good idea or a serious mistake? After all, there is the possibility that while you are taking it lightly, he or she is very keen. Or vice-versa. The other option could be that you fall for the wrong kind of person and end up having your heart broken, besides losing complete trust in mankind. Luckily, weekend holiday makers can be easily categorised and you can figure out which kind to avoid and which to embrace.This is the one who has already had three weekend flings before you arrived on the scene and each of them thought this was something serious, until they saw him/her on someone else’s arm a few days later . This person sees the weekend holiday merely as an opportunity to break hearts and boost his/her ego. Hit the road, don’t even shed a tear, this person is not worth it.This is the person who is single for the weekend, but has a partner tucked away somewhere, who is expecting him or her back soon. Don’t feel too bad about being taken in by this kind. It will not be the first time he or she does this. How you find out about the real partner is usually when you try and phone after the holiday and you get the boyfriend or girlfriend on the phone. It is not always easy to know when someone is taken. Trust your instincts and don’t feel guilty when you are being a bit suspicious.Just look out for yourself and don’t be talked into something you would rather not do, by someone who is trying to put another notch on the bedpost. Some people measure the success of their holidays by their number of conquests. Better be safe than sorry.This is the person whose purse or wallet is always mysteriously at home when it gets to paying for things. Promises to pay you back later just never seem to materialise . This person usually has expensive tastes and likes going to trendy places with your money. Don’t be taken for a ride. Big talkerAccording to this person, he/she is a really big shot back home. That means the person claims that he/she is either a sports star or a brilliant academic or an entrepreneur, or whatever. But exactly how wonderful he/she is, is the main topic of conversation. And you have a sneaking suspicion that this person may be a legend in his/her own mind only. Don’t do this to yourself, for anyone who continually has to do a public relations job on themselves does not really have much of a self-image.This is the person you went out with once and kissed behind the fishing boats. And now he/she is making long term plans and these seem to feature you in a major way. He/she is choosing names for your children and is planning to take you to meet the family. Unless you feel the same way, which is unlikely in such a short while, run and run quickly.This kind does exist. Admittedly not very often, but there are people who have had successful long term relationships with people they met on a weekend holiday. People who were sane and nice and normal and not already attached , who were not freeloaders or braggarts or desperadoes . You have lucked out and can rest easy and enjoy your good fortune.If you want to keep things light and easy, here are some things you should do:Make your intentions clear from the start to any potential beau. Your honesty may mean your never clinching the romance, but you will avoid any over-involvement .Be assertive and tell him you don’t want to see him again – and stick to it. If he pressures you, confront him in front of your friends or other holiday-makers . If necessary, tell your holiday rep, as they will be able to offer more support.Be tactful and firm. Build his confidence by telling him what a fabulous time you have had, but be clear that the romance stops at the end of the holiday. Once home, if he’s persistent, don’t answer his emails or letters.- TNN
Good habits of happy people
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit, according to Greek philosopher Aristotle. The world is changing faster than you can wrap your head around new ideas, but the keys to happiness and success are timeless.Practise visualisation: Keeping your eye on the prize will keep you motivated, no matter what hurdles come your way .Set clear, action-oriented goals down on paper and visualise yourself achieving them. It’s a key habit emphasised on in several classic self-help books.Face challenges: Replace the word problem with challenge and you’ll witness the wealth of opportunities that a perceived setback offers. This simple paradigm shift will have you applying your skills and talents, learn ing new things and becoming part of the solution rather than a hindrance to the people around. Truly happy people don’t bury their heads in the ground like an ostrich in times of crisis; rather, they go where the action is and face the war zone with the chin up.Know your strengths: Successful people know what they are good at and also where their weaknesses lie. Do a SWOT (strengths, opportunities, weaknesses and threats) on yourself so you have faith in your own abilities. Self-belief and confidence will give you the inner guidance to establish the routines and habits that will put you on the road to success.Get quality sleep: Sitcoms, movies, books and partying keeping you up till the wee hours? Staying up late may sound fashion able, but consider the health hazards of sleep deprivation -a grumpy and foggy you the next morning. So, get an average of eight hours of sleep a night so you wake up re-energised.Make exercise a habit: Truly successful people understand that not only is exercise good for your body and heart, it also pumps more oxygen to the brain, releases happy hormones and improves your state of mind. Irrespective of whether it’s a brisk jog in the park or a serious weight-bearing exercises at the gym in the evening, daily exercise boosts overall well-being.Read widely: Reading nourishes the mind. Pick up the newspaper in the morning, unwind with a novel before bedtime or read self-help books during your break to sharpen your mind and gain perspective.Dress right: What you wear affects how you feel about yourself and your general conduct. Wear neat, clean, work-appropriate clothes to get in the right mindset, depending on your plans for the day .A neat and clean appearance will also create a good first impression for associates in work-related interactions.Don’t hold grudges: Instead of lifting you up and having you experience the lightness of being, grudges will weigh you down and rob you of energy and precious time. Make it a habit to forgive someone new every day. You’ll be able to move forward in life and focus on the things that really matter. Don’t forget to forgive yourself every day for mistakes you could’ve avoided, and also the things you wanted to, but didn’t do.Be kind: Simple acts of kindness will brighten your day. Be kind to people wherever possible, for instance, opening the door for someone or greeting the person in the building lift with a warm smile.-ToI